So yesterday it was my birthday.
20 years…I can’t really believe this…I still feel like I’m 16…
Anyway my dad and my boyfriend prepared with the NGO i run a surprise party and it was very awesome and I had such a great time!
I feel better as i recieved lots of love and everyone who wrote me happy bday wished me luck to fulfill my dreams ^_^
I had this disscution with my dad a few days ago and he explained to me that I tend to see only in the future…where i want to be and how long i have to go to reach it…and I forget the past…and forget where I was and where I am now…all the progress and the work i put in all i’ve done…
And he’s right…i only prepared seriously for like 3 and a half months and i still have 3 and a half months to go…so i’m still halfway to my journey and I’ve come this far…and I will manage to do so much more 🙂
My dad is my hero really…I’m so lucky he is alive and here with me ♡
And after all…i’m only 20…I have all my life ahead…if medschool isn’t for me…I’ll find something to do with my life… but until that…i have to have hope and to work hard 🙂
Soo…it’s been a pretty hard time for me…
My workout is weak and i get muscle pain and it gets so frustrating
And recently i found out that the military admission test has changed and i have to run 2 kilometers in 9 minute and a half…i can’t even run them in 10 minutes how it was before it changed….all i can do right now is 12 minutes…
I feel so down…in april i will have the admission and in still can’t run that fast…
I fell like i will never make it…
I know i have to stay strong and work more and more….but everyday i feel more close to the exam and i feel more and more unprepared….
I need to believe in myself but i just can’t right now….
I’m scared…and it’s just so hard…the training and learning and the routine….and i feel alone …because even though i have people around me…i feel they don’t really know my pain…
It’s so much pressure upom me because all my future depends on how i do now…and it just scares me…
I want to be a kid again and not have to think about future…why did i had to grow up ?? I was just fine as a kid…
I’ve been nominated for this blogger recognition award by Fed He is such an amazing person and I’m so happy I get to read about his life 🙂
Thank you so much for nominating me for this !
- Write a post to show your award.
- Thank the blogger(s) who nominated you and share the link to their blog.
- Give a brief story of how your blog got started.
- Give two pieces of advice to new bloggers.
- Nominate 15 bloggers of your choice for the award.
- Comment on each blog to let them know that you’ve nominated them and provide a link to your post.
How Pieces of me started
Well i guess even the title says it all…I started it as a diary like blog in wich I can post things about my life as a 19 years old…about my thoughts and dreams 🙂
I know writing down thoughts is really healthy so I try to stick to it but I post rarely so i guess I might post more tho
I’m still new around here as i have this blog for like 6 months but haven’t post so much…so yeah 🙂
Advice to new bloggers
Well first of all I think it’s important to be active in the comunnity…to follow many blogs you enjoy and read them most of the time and give likes and comments when you feel like it. This will make you feel like a part of their life/journey and I think it’s a wonderfull feeling.
A second advice will be to download the wordpress app and write everytime you feel the need to, because if you don’t do it right away then you’re thoughts and ideeas will fly away and it’s a shame that they didn’t got written down.
And never think that what you write is not worth to post. I promise it is!
15 blogs nominated by me
I’m so very shy about this but i’ll give it a try. So here are some random blogs i follow..it was too hard to choose so i picked kind of random..
I wonder how was it for other people to realise they are grown ups
I mean…for me it was and still is a shock…all my life i was a kid…and suddenly i had some exams got out of school and now i have to face life like i have been prepared for this…but they never prepared me for anything. We were always told we are kids…we know nothing…we are immature…we can’t know whats good and bad and can’t make decisions… and then suddenly they kick us out of the school and tell us we’re grown ups now and have to make decisions on our own….
We are told to shut up and sit down for 12 years…and after that one day we are thrown into the world to stand up life…
How is this right? How am i supposed to know what life is and how to manage it… Suddenly we are given “freedom” and responsabilities and i swear i don’t know what to do with them.
I hate this system so sooo much.
I mean…i learned a lot in school…i always had good grades…i was a quiet “well raised” kid…and did my job as a student…
But after 12 years of school…i learned nothing…in a couple of months i forgot most of the information they teached me….it was all useless…i will never use that complicated math again…and if i need informations i will always google it….
So what is school? As i didn.t learn anything about life…i just learned informations i already forgot…
And at the end of the road…i am stitting here confused about life…about choices…about everyting because all my life i was thought to do some things and now all of a sudden i have to do exactly the opposite…
And i’m wondering…am i the only one that feels this way?
I forgot to post my resolution for this year
But they say it’s never too late..haha
• get into med school
• Be more pozitive
• Be more organized
• Be more confident
• learn to love and accept myself
• take care of myself more
• read at least 12 books
• appreciate things, people, moments more
• procrastinate less
• stress less
• photograph more and post the photos
• better time management
• keep my nails long and stop biting them
• less “i’m sorry” more “thank you”
• improve my english
• give more gifts
• spend more time with my brother
• don’t swear that much anymore
• maybe get a driving license?… Maybe…
• improve my judging and giving feedback skills for the debate competitions
• travel and Be happy as much as i can 🙂
I am traveling with train from a city to another city in my country…it.s a 10 hours long distance…
So i just thought it’s wierd how time passes while being on train…almost like traveling through time…
BUT then i remembered that time when time stopped for me…when i flew from my country to England and we were flying with the same speed sun was moving on sky…so the entire flight was a sunrise for me…the sun still rising..the sky still coloured…it was magical…just like time has stopped…
That was the moment when i felt like time stopped for me to enjoy the view forever and then keep it dear in my heart…
I couldnt believe how the sky was burning with pink and red coloured clouds and the sun warming my soul…and then…all of a sudden the plane started the landing process and while loosing height…we entered the dark clouds beneath us…and it was like we entered another world…because it was all dark…clouds…fog…and rain…i just could not believe the difference…
Since then everytime it rains and i feel down i remember all the way up…there is sun and the clear sky…just like happiness deep inside me…
I love him…
I love him when he’s talking about something passionate…i love him when he’s greeting everyone just like a little retarded….i love how silly he is sometimes…i love when he sings because even if he doesn’t have a good voice he feels it so much and he’s making me feel it too
I love that if i touch him while sleeping…he would grab me…and hold me…
I love when he’s asleep…i love to watch him sleeping like
that…quiet…peacefully…i feel protected…i actually feel
we’re protected…just like we’re the only people in the entire world….just us…just him breathing slowly…sleeping peacefully…i feel like crying when i watch him like this…because he’s just so perfect for me…and i love him so so much…and i could not imagine my life without him…
I love how he acts like a little child when he needs affection and i don’t really give him enough…
I love how he knows me so well he actually understands how i feel and think….better that i will ever be able to understand myself…
I love him when he’s like “meeeh”….cuz he’s so cute…
I love how he accept me just the way i am…and i love how he encourage me to do things and to develop myself more and more…
He’s the reason i’m here today….because he’s the person that changed the way i feel about myself…he changed the way i feel about life…
He just taught me how to love myself…how to be stronger…how to never ever give up….how to believe in myself…and to actually enjoy and love life…
He’s the miracle to my life…and i love him ♡