Little reminder

​You fail….

You suffer…
You suffer so much…but then…you find yourself dancing in the room at 8 in the morning and you just realise you’re okay…there was no reason for you to think of killing  yourself just because you failed…you learned the most important step in life….you learned to fail…and you healed that damn wound…you remained strong…and that my dear….it’s a reason to be proud of yourself.

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Art

“In a room full of art I’d still stare at you”

I think we ourself are the true art…we humans…are so complicated, have so many dreams, feelings, thoughts…

How we even manage to create our life in the way we have it? I mean…we bond with other people…and learn things and make decisions…and work for everything…and it all seems “as it should be”…normal…but i think it’s amazing…how we get through life…how we build ourself from little pieces…

I think we are the art and the artists of ourself…every single day…building each other…growing…living…

Isn’t life amazing? How are we not the biggest piece of art we know? 

We should just stop sometimes…and admire people around us…and most important ourself…because we have so much beauty in us…

and we are art…

Smoke

I always hated people smoking…it’s such a bad habit…it gets your breathing smelly and damages your teeths..and hurts your lungs…and just no happy side of this…

My whole family is smoking….so i’m used to it…but even so i choke while breathing beside them while they smoke

Anyway…to get to my point…i just turned 18 when i first smoked…and i loved the feeling i got…i felt like a grown up…i felt dizzy like when you drink too much…and then…i felt calm…it’s strange how i never thought a simple cigar will make you feel so good and calm…i just loved the feeling…

So i smoked about a month…and only like 3 packs of them…because my lungs felt sick…started coughing..and i was afraid…

Now…these days…i’m missing the feeling smoking gave me… I mean…i still hate the concept because i know how bad it is for the health…but still…i really miss smoking..just one cigar..

Don.t be afraid. I promise my boyfriend i won.t smoke again…it.s just that i miss the dizziness and the calm feeling…

Dear November

Welcome…how are you? will you be cold? will you be shiny? will you bring the frozen mornings or foggy city? 

Will you pass just as fast as October? or you will linger and make December jealous?

Please just be good to me…help me get better and when you see i’m lost and sad just give one glimpse of sun so i can feel a little better…

Dear November…dear november…just be good to me…

I promise i will make you proud…October will be sad i wasn’t doing much at that time…but you must not care. 

 You know you are my chance…you are my new begining…you are my hope and oportunity

I will be better in November! I will do much more!
Welcome…welcome…dear November
With love,

Kitty

Hope

No one got where they are today without work…this is my lesson…i need to learn that without working a bit and keeping my priorities straight i cannot reach where i want to. Life is hard and we must fight for what we want. And i know later when we reach our dreams we will be proud and will apreciate it more because we worked so hard for it. 

I’m only 19…i need to sometimes forgive myself for the mistakes i do and constantly remind myself i have a dream and i need to fight for it. It’s hard after i lived in the world of highschool and where i had no real responsabilities to face the real life…and to actually work for my dream and future…

It’s very hard to see all my ex classmates in the university and not to feel bad…

But this year will pass..i will work hard and eventually i’ll be better.

“So will I.”

Missing

​I long for colured morning sky…the smell after a summer rain…seeing the sky full of stars…breathing in he montain air while hearing the river flow sound and the wind through the trees… i miss wearing just a fee clothes…and feeling the sun embrace me and warming my skin…

I really live for the sun…and the warm weather…

These days i feel suffocated…and sad…

I want my summer paradise back…