So yesterday it was my birthday. 

20 years…I can’t really believe this…I still feel like I’m 16…

Anyway my dad and my boyfriend prepared with the NGO i run a surprise party and it was very awesome and I had such a great time!

I feel better as i recieved lots of love and everyone who wrote me happy bday wished me luck to fulfill my dreams ^_^

I had this disscution with my dad a few days ago and he explained to me that I tend to see only in the future…where i want to be and how long i have to go to reach it…and I forget the past…and forget where I was and where I am now…all the progress and the work i put in all i’ve done…

And he’s right…i only prepared seriously for like 3  and a half months and i still have 3 and a half months to go…so i’m still halfway to my journey and I’ve come this far…and I will manage to do so much more 🙂

My dad is my hero really…I’m so lucky he is alive and here with me ♡

And after all…i’m only 20…I have all my life ahead…if medschool isn’t for me…I’ll find something to do with my life… but until that…i have to have hope and to work hard 🙂


New year resolution 

​I forgot to post my resolution for this year

But they say it’s never too late..haha

• get into med school

• Be more pozitive

• Be more organized

• Be more confident

• learn to love and accept myself

• take care of myself more

• read at least 12 books

• appreciate things, people, moments more

• procrastinate less

• stress less

• photograph more and post the photos

• better time management

• keep my nails long and stop biting them

• less “i’m sorry” more “thank you”

• improve my english

• give more gifts

• spend more time with my brother

• don’t swear that much anymore

• maybe get a driving license?… Maybe…

• improve my judging and giving feedback skills for the debate competitions


• travel and Be happy as much as i can 🙂

Time stop

​I am traveling with train from a city to another city in my country…it.s a 10 hours long distance…

So i just thought it’s wierd how time passes while being on train…almost like traveling through time…

BUT then i remembered that time when time stopped for me…when i flew from my country to England and we were flying with the same speed sun was moving on sky…so the entire flight was a sunrise for me…the sun still rising..the sky still coloured…it was magical…just like time has stopped…
That was the moment when i felt like time stopped for me to enjoy the view forever and then keep it dear in my heart…

I couldnt believe how the sky was burning with pink and red coloured clouds and the sun warming my soul…and then…all of a sudden the plane started the landing process and while loosing height…we entered the dark clouds beneath us…and it was like we entered another world…because it was all dark…clouds…fog…and rain…i just could not believe the difference…
Since then everytime it rains and i feel down i remember all the way up…there is sun and the clear sky…just like happiness deep inside me…

Dear November

Welcome…how are you? will you be cold? will you be shiny? will you bring the frozen mornings or foggy city? 

Will you pass just as fast as October? or you will linger and make December jealous?

Please just be good to me…help me get better and when you see i’m lost and sad just give one glimpse of sun so i can feel a little better…

Dear November…dear november…just be good to me…

I promise i will make you proud…October will be sad i wasn’t doing much at that time…but you must not care. 

 You know you are my chance…you are my new begining…you are my hope and oportunity

I will be better in November! I will do much more!
Welcome…welcome…dear November
With love,



No one got where they are today without work…this is my lesson…i need to learn that without working a bit and keeping my priorities straight i cannot reach where i want to. Life is hard and we must fight for what we want. And i know later when we reach our dreams we will be proud and will apreciate it more because we worked so hard for it. 

I’m only 19…i need to sometimes forgive myself for the mistakes i do and constantly remind myself i have a dream and i need to fight for it. It’s hard after i lived in the world of highschool and where i had no real responsabilities to face the real life…and to actually work for my dream and future…

It’s very hard to see all my ex classmates in the university and not to feel bad…

But this year will pass..i will work hard and eventually i’ll be better.

“So will I.”

Begining of a new chapter

Epic title..i know. 

But actually it’s accurate…i’m starting this “diary” because i just really need to write sometimes…i don’t write good as a book or something…it’s just me writing random things… And i realised that i’m 19 and a half…when i’ll be older…i’ll want to know how my life was…and what i thought at this time…

So for a short intro i’m 19 and a half years old…i just finished my high school and i tried to get into military medicine university and i failed…so i’m taking a year to learn and prepare myself for the admission.

English is not my language…i don’t even know that much…but i’m okay i guess…

This was the first day i started to prepare again…i went to the gym with my dad (he’s my best friend). It was the first time i ever walked into a gym and it was so soo awesome…i’m so excited! Tomorrow i’ll do a bit of  cardio and i’ll learn a bit of my admission book ( antomy) 

Today was a good day 🙂

So yeah…that’s it for today.