Birthday 

So yesterday it was my birthday. 

20 years…I can’t really believe this…I still feel like I’m 16…

Anyway my dad and my boyfriend prepared with the NGO i run a surprise party and it was very awesome and I had such a great time!

I feel better as i recieved lots of love and everyone who wrote me happy bday wished me luck to fulfill my dreams ^_^

I had this disscution with my dad a few days ago and he explained to me that I tend to see only in the future…where i want to be and how long i have to go to reach it…and I forget the past…and forget where I was and where I am now…all the progress and the work i put in all i’ve done…

And he’s right…i only prepared seriously for like 3  and a half months and i still have 3 and a half months to go…so i’m still halfway to my journey and I’ve come this far…and I will manage to do so much more 🙂

My dad is my hero really…I’m so lucky he is alive and here with me ♡

And after all…i’m only 20…I have all my life ahead…if medschool isn’t for me…I’ll find something to do with my life… but until that…i have to have hope and to work hard 🙂

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New year resolution 

​I forgot to post my resolution for this year

But they say it’s never too late..haha

• get into med school

• Be more pozitive

• Be more organized

• Be more confident

• learn to love and accept myself

• take care of myself more

• read at least 12 books

• appreciate things, people, moments more

• procrastinate less

• stress less

• photograph more and post the photos

• better time management

• keep my nails long and stop biting them

• less “i’m sorry” more “thank you”

• improve my english

• give more gifts

• spend more time with my brother

• don’t swear that much anymore

• maybe get a driving license?… Maybe…

• improve my judging and giving feedback skills for the debate competitions

Aaaand

• travel and Be happy as much as i can 🙂

Time stop

​I am traveling with train from a city to another city in my country…it.s a 10 hours long distance…

So i just thought it’s wierd how time passes while being on train…almost like traveling through time…

BUT then i remembered that time when time stopped for me…when i flew from my country to England and we were flying with the same speed sun was moving on sky…so the entire flight was a sunrise for me…the sun still rising..the sky still coloured…it was magical…just like time has stopped…
That was the moment when i felt like time stopped for me to enjoy the view forever and then keep it dear in my heart…

I couldnt believe how the sky was burning with pink and red coloured clouds and the sun warming my soul…and then…all of a sudden the plane started the landing process and while loosing height…we entered the dark clouds beneath us…and it was like we entered another world…because it was all dark…clouds…fog…and rain…i just could not believe the difference…
Since then everytime it rains and i feel down i remember all the way up…there is sun and the clear sky…just like happiness deep inside me…

I love him

​I love him…

I love him when he’s talking about something passionate…i love him when he’s greeting everyone just like a little retarded….i love how silly he is sometimes…i love when he sings because even if he doesn’t have a good voice he feels it so much and he’s making me feel it too 

I love that if i touch him while sleeping…he would grab me…and hold me…

I love when he’s asleep…i love to watch him sleeping like
that…quiet…peacefully…i feel protected…i actually feel
we’re protected…just like we’re the only people in the entire world….just us…just him breathing slowly…sleeping peacefully…i feel like crying when i watch him like this…because he’s just so perfect for me…and i love him so so much…and i could not imagine my life without him…

I love how he acts like a little child when he needs affection and i don’t really give him enough…
I love how he knows me so well he actually understands how i feel and think….better that i will ever be able to understand myself…
I love him when he’s like “meeeh”….cuz he’s so cute…
I love how he accept me just the way i am…and i love how he encourage me to do things and to develop myself more and more…
He’s the reason i’m here today….because he’s the person that changed the way i feel about myself…he changed the way i feel about life…
He just taught me how to love myself…how to be stronger…how to never ever give up….how to believe in myself…and to actually enjoy and love life…
He’s the miracle to my life…and i love him ♡

Art

“In a room full of art I’d still stare at you”

I think we ourself are the true art…we humans…are so complicated, have so many dreams, feelings, thoughts…

How we even manage to create our life in the way we have it? I mean…we bond with other people…and learn things and make decisions…and work for everything…and it all seems “as it should be”…normal…but i think it’s amazing…how we get through life…how we build ourself from little pieces…

I think we are the art and the artists of ourself…every single day…building each other…growing…living…

Isn’t life amazing? How are we not the biggest piece of art we know? 

We should just stop sometimes…and admire people around us…and most important ourself…because we have so much beauty in us…

and we are art…

Begining of a new chapter

Epic title..i know. 

But actually it’s accurate…i’m starting this “diary” because i just really need to write sometimes…i don’t write good as a book or something…it’s just me writing random things… And i realised that i’m 19 and a half…when i’ll be older…i’ll want to know how my life was…and what i thought at this time…

So for a short intro i’m 19 and a half years old…i just finished my high school and i tried to get into military medicine university and i failed…so i’m taking a year to learn and prepare myself for the admission.

English is not my language…i don’t even know that much…but i’m okay i guess…

This was the first day i started to prepare again…i went to the gym with my dad (he’s my best friend). It was the first time i ever walked into a gym and it was so soo awesome…i’m so excited! Tomorrow i’ll do a bit of  cardio and i’ll learn a bit of my admission book ( antomy) 

Today was a good day 🙂

So yeah…that’s it for today.