Hard time

Soo…it’s been a pretty hard time for me…

My workout is weak and i get muscle pain and it gets so frustrating

And recently i found out that the military admission test has changed and i have to run 2 kilometers in 9 minute and a half…i can’t even run them in 10 minutes how it was before it changed….all i can do right now is 12 minutes…

I feel so down…in april i will have the admission and in still can’t run that fast…

I fell like i will never make it…

I know i have to stay strong and work more and more….but everyday i feel more close to the exam and i feel more and more unprepared….

I need to believe in myself but i just can’t right now….

I’m scared…and it’s just so hard…the training and learning and the routine….and i feel alone …because even though i have people around me…i feel they don’t really know my pain…

It’s so much pressure upom me because all my future depends on how i do now…and it just scares me…

I want to be a kid again and not have to think about future…why did i had to grow up ??  I was just fine as a kid…

Advertisements

Time stop

​I am traveling with train from a city to another city in my country…it.s a 10 hours long distance…

So i just thought it’s wierd how time passes while being on train…almost like traveling through time…

BUT then i remembered that time when time stopped for me…when i flew from my country to England and we were flying with the same speed sun was moving on sky…so the entire flight was a sunrise for me…the sun still rising..the sky still coloured…it was magical…just like time has stopped…
That was the moment when i felt like time stopped for me to enjoy the view forever and then keep it dear in my heart…

I couldnt believe how the sky was burning with pink and red coloured clouds and the sun warming my soul…and then…all of a sudden the plane started the landing process and while loosing height…we entered the dark clouds beneath us…and it was like we entered another world…because it was all dark…clouds…fog…and rain…i just could not believe the difference…
Since then everytime it rains and i feel down i remember all the way up…there is sun and the clear sky…just like happiness deep inside me…