Time stop

​I am traveling with train from a city to another city in my country…it.s a 10 hours long distance…

So i just thought it’s wierd how time passes while being on train…almost like traveling through time…

BUT then i remembered that time when time stopped for me…when i flew from my country to England and we were flying with the same speed sun was moving on sky…so the entire flight was a sunrise for me…the sun still rising..the sky still coloured…it was magical…just like time has stopped…
That was the moment when i felt like time stopped for me to enjoy the view forever and then keep it dear in my heart…

I couldnt believe how the sky was burning with pink and red coloured clouds and the sun warming my soul…and then…all of a sudden the plane started the landing process and while loosing height…we entered the dark clouds beneath us…and it was like we entered another world…because it was all dark…clouds…fog…and rain…i just could not believe the difference…
Since then everytime it rains and i feel down i remember all the way up…there is sun and the clear sky…just like happiness deep inside me…

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Confused

I know i am an introvert person but still…i struggle to spend time with people. They always get me feeling tired and at some point i want to just run away from them and be alone. But the paradox is that i don’t like feeling lonely. It’s just that people suffocate me. 

That’s why i don’t have close friends…i can’t keep up with more than 1 friendship…it’s exhausting…

So that was the way i lived my life until now…socially awkward…staying away from people and at the same time crying because i’m not social and i don’t have friends…

Will i ever get over this?  I mean i don’t mind it right now..cuz  i have my boyfriend that is supportive and respects my space and knows how i feel and understands me…but honestly if i were him i wouldnt understant me. So i could just live my life with him and be okay i don’t need more interaction…but it still makes me feel like i have a problem..

I’m so confused…